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Shani Gilchrist

Critic. Essayist. Journalist.
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I'm an American having nightmares about living in my own country

March 2, 2016

So, I'm going to be really honest, here. Last night I had a dream that A. and I were touring an elementary or middle school with a group of journalists and activists. It was a mixed group of people, but it turned out that they'd somehow been coerced into doing whatever Donald Trump wanted. They tricked us into getting separated from the group, and then I realized that it was so the KKK could come after my husband me. They chased us down hallway after hallway. Eventually we caught up with two of the journalists (one black, one white), and I looked at them closely to figure out if this was for real or a big joke. Their faces showed so much shame in themselves that I actually felt sorry for them. That only lasted a moment, though, because we were about to be chased again, and I woke up this morning mumbling, "I just want to go home!"

I don't usually make blog posts that are this personal, but I'm also not a person who has vivid dreams very often. Dreams are often windows into our anxieties, and I'd be willing to bet a lot of money that I'm not the only black woman, mother of mixed children, creative professional, or empathetic citizen living with these anxieties right now. If I was further down the scale of "others"... if I was Muslim, a first- or second-generation American Latina, or was here with my brown skin via a legally obtained visa, I probably would've been having such nightmares for weeks now. If I was a mother in Central America who'd made the impossible decision to send my pre-adolescent child toward the American border alone, without me, through areas more dangerous than most Americans can imagine, because the other alternative is to wait for my child to meet a brutal, inhumane fate of death or worse, I'd be out of my mind with grief and confusion. 

Is this what America has become? A place of nightmares instead of dreams? A place that frightens its own citizens rather than inspiring them to work together for a better future? Does our country's current behavior match its expectation that it is entitled to be a leader and example for the world to follow? 

In Comment on the Commentary, Do Something Tags Politics, Getting real
← Somebody get him outta here.Some words to help cope with watching the latest political coverage →

Instagram

Guess what? I made an attempt at writing today! I wrote a whole word! 🤨
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#amalmostwriting #sorta #heyitried #dontcallitacomeback #yet
Guess what? I made an attempt at writing today! I wrote a whole word! 🤨 . . . . . . . . . . . . #amalmostwriting #sorta #heyitried #dontcallitacomeback #yet
Working in the lobby at @sterminshotel four years ago. Our entire family has been itching to go back there. Maybe this summer!
#latergram #london #sterminshotel #historicplace #travel #askaboutthesecretpassage šŸ’•
Working in the lobby at @sterminshotel four years ago. Our entire family has been itching to go back there. Maybe this summer! #latergram #london #sterminshotel #historicplace #travel #askaboutthesecretpassage šŸ’•
Jr. is growing up so darned fast. 😭😭
Jr. is growing up so darned fast. 😭😭
A couple of weeks ago I picked up @imaniperry’s ā€œLooking for Lorraine: The radiant and radical life of Lorraine Hansberryā€ after reading a @bookcritics newsletter announcing candidates for the #johnleonardprize. I’m finding this first chapter challenging to read as it brings back some feelings about my own work and life over the last few years but, as great books do (especially in the first chapter!), it’s helping put a thing or two into perspective. Or at least inspiring me to mull them over. This isn’t the worst way to spend a (very) cold November morning by the fire, that’s for sure!
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#amreading #bookstagram #imaniperry #lorrainehansberry #lookingforlorraine #rainydayreading #itscoldoutside
A couple of weeks ago I picked up @imaniperry’s ā€œLooking for Lorraine: The radiant and radical life of Lorraine Hansberryā€ after reading a @bookcritics newsletter announcing candidates for the #johnleonardprize. I’m finding this first chapter challenging to read as it brings back some feelings about my own work and life over the last few years but, as great books do (especially in the first chapter!), it’s helping put a thing or two into perspective. Or at least inspiring me to mull them over. This isn’t the worst way to spend a (very) cold November morning by the fire, that’s for sure! . . . . . . . . . #amreading #bookstagram #imaniperry #lorrainehansberry #lookingforlorraine #rainydayreading #itscoldoutside
Saturday’s #ABAYLD panel was the first time I’d had the chance to speak with The Hon. Jay Richardson (he was the federal prosecutor for the Dylann Roof trial, and is now Fourth Circuit judge). It was an honor to speak as part of this group. Sending big thanks to @scbaryld for including me.
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#paneldiscussion #motheremanuel #charlestonsc #respect #remember #listen #getthestorystraight #makeactionablechange #talkingisgoodifitleadstoaction #latergram 
#Repost @scbaryld with @get_repost
惻惻惻
About this weekend... our members, under the leadership of @tommyprestonjr helped put together quite the @abayounglawyersdivision Fall Conference! Saturday started with a powerful Mother Emanuel program that included discussion of how Charleston reacted and continues to grow in issues related to race. This was followed up by an epic #legalhistory walking tour designed by @patrickcwooten that led our guests on a multi-hour history with cameo appearances by Judge Hendricks and attorney Rutledge Young, Jr. A great learning experience was had by all! We so loved getting to show off our South Carolina Lawyers and residents as well as the City! #gpyld18
Saturday’s #ABAYLD panel was the first time I’d had the chance to speak with The Hon. Jay Richardson (he was the federal prosecutor for the Dylann Roof trial, and is now Fourth Circuit judge). It was an honor to speak as part of this group. Sending big thanks to @scbaryld for including me. . . #paneldiscussion #motheremanuel #charlestonsc #respect #remember #listen #getthestorystraight #makeactionablechange #talkingisgoodifitleadstoaction #latergram #Repost @scbaryld with @get_repost 惻惻惻 About this weekend... our members, under the leadership of @tommyprestonjr helped put together quite the @abayounglawyersdivision Fall Conference! Saturday started with a powerful Mother Emanuel program that included discussion of how Charleston reacted and continues to grow in issues related to race. This was followed up by an epic #legalhistory walking tour designed by @patrickcwooten that led our guests on a multi-hour history with cameo appearances by Judge Hendricks and attorney Rutledge Young, Jr. A great learning experience was had by all! We so loved getting to show off our South Carolina Lawyers and residents as well as the City! #gpyld18
I made some stuff today. šŸŽ‰
I made some stuff today. šŸŽ‰
My mother used to keep candles in the freezer to minimize dripping when lit for the dinner table. This also makes them last a bit longer. I’m carrying her tip over to hurricane prep today. (Sorry to those of you who are seeing this twice!) #goawayflorence #beprepared #hurricaneflorence2018
My mother used to keep candles in the freezer to minimize dripping when lit for the dinner table. This also makes them last a bit longer. I’m carrying her tip over to hurricane prep today. (Sorry to those of you who are seeing this twice!) #goawayflorence #beprepared #hurricaneflorence2018
The week so far...
Monday: kitten scratched me up while I was putting her in a carrier to go to the vet. 
Tuesday: impulsively started pulling things from the garden without wearing gloves. ...and there’s still a hurricane coming this way... šŸ¤¦šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø #nomoreplease #ouch #itchy
The week so far... Monday: kitten scratched me up while I was putting her in a carrier to go to the vet. Tuesday: impulsively started pulling things from the garden without wearing gloves. ...and there’s still a hurricane coming this way... šŸ¤¦šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø #nomoreplease #ouch #itchy
You’d never believe they got into a slapfight this morning. Arthur lost the slapfight. #arthurtheliterarydog #needahashtagforthecat
You’d never believe they got into a slapfight this morning. Arthur lost the slapfight. #arthurtheliterarydog #needahashtagforthecat
What I wanted to say to @s_thornwell0: How can I use this pic to bribe my child to stop giving me a hard time about his Latin homework?

What I almost said, but didn’t because wow that would’ve been dorky: Hey, remember when you played in (and won) the Elite Eight at Madison Square Garden? I watched from the handicapped section because the night before I had a teeny bit too much wine, tripped over my purse, and dislocated my knee. I also caught the flu. Totally worth it! That was the most epic and fun sport-spectating trip ever! #omgimthedorkiestmom #sindariusthornwell #gamecockbasketball #beyonce #jayz #otrii #columbiasc #sodacity #famouslyhot
What I wanted to say to @s_thornwell0: How can I use this pic to bribe my child to stop giving me a hard time about his Latin homework? What I almost said, but didn’t because wow that would’ve been dorky: Hey, remember when you played in (and won) the Elite Eight at Madison Square Garden? I watched from the handicapped section because the night before I had a teeny bit too much wine, tripped over my purse, and dislocated my knee. I also caught the flu. Totally worth it! That was the most epic and fun sport-spectating trip ever! #omgimthedorkiestmom #sindariusthornwell #gamecockbasketball #beyonce #jayz #otrii #columbiasc #sodacity #famouslyhot
Cat who has yet to be named has joined our crazy house and we love her. #bengalkitten
Cat who has yet to be named has joined our crazy house and we love her. #bengalkitten
His life is so hard.
His life is so hard.
Still waking up a little unsure of where I am in the mornings and expecting this to be what I see. 
#jetlag #morninglight #latergram
Still waking up a little unsure of where I am in the mornings and expecting this to be what I see. #jetlag #morninglight #latergram
Leaving Scotland. 
#latergram #daddysboy #sweetbaby #scotland #farewell #travel #whenwasthis #whatdayisit #jetlag
Leaving Scotland. #latergram #daddysboy #sweetbaby #scotland #farewell #travel #whenwasthis #whatdayisit #jetlag
Finds from @oxfambooksbyresroad. An 1872 History of Glasgow and Alice Walker’s The Same River Twice: Honoring the Difficult.

#score #oxfambooks #antiquebooks #alicewalker #books #glasgow #scotland #gilchristsinscotland #yeswerestillhere
Finds from @oxfambooksbyresroad. An 1872 History of Glasgow and Alice Walker’s The Same River Twice: Honoring the Difficult. #score #oxfambooks #antiquebooks #alicewalker #books #glasgow #scotland #gilchristsinscotland #yeswerestillhere
This is the #Scotland That makes my heart go pitter-pat. Well, this and Perth. And Gleneagles. And parts of Edinburgh. And parts of Glasgow. And also a glass of aged @laphroaig. 🄃

#scotlandhighlands #benmore #instalight #happyplace
This is the #Scotland That makes my heart go pitter-pat. Well, this and Perth. And Gleneagles. And parts of Edinburgh. And parts of Glasgow. And also a glass of aged @laphroaig. 🄃 #scotlandhighlands #benmore #instalight #happyplace
Mussels, wine, a fire, and a book after an insanely fabulous day of hiking and wandering. Will be asleep soon. 😓

#mussels #wine #book #fire #vacaymode #scotland  #gilchristsinscotland
Mussels, wine, a fire, and a book after an insanely fabulous day of hiking and wandering. Will be asleep soon. 😓 #mussels #wine #book #fire #vacaymode #scotland #gilchristsinscotland
When I saw that @riverheadbooks had posted this photo of my sunroom (from my @thislitlifestyle account), it made me feel a bit homesick. I tend to be a bit wimpy about vacations lasting more than a week... šŸ˜ 
#Repost @riverheadbooks with @get_repost
惻惻惻
šŸ–¤ ā€œHe’s like a perfect, windless pond, her husband once said. You throw something in just to watch it sink, and you’re going to see it on the bottom staring back at you for the rest of your life.ā€ -Lauren Groff, FLORIDA šŸ–¤ ...... gorgeous photo by @thislitlifestyle
When I saw that @riverheadbooks had posted this photo of my sunroom (from my @thislitlifestyle account), it made me feel a bit homesick. I tend to be a bit wimpy about vacations lasting more than a week... šŸ˜ #Repost @riverheadbooks with @get_repost 惻惻惻 šŸ–¤ ā€œHe’s like a perfect, windless pond, her husband once said. You throw something in just to watch it sink, and you’re going to see it on the bottom staring back at you for the rest of your life.ā€ -Lauren Groff, FLORIDA šŸ–¤ ...... gorgeous photo by @thislitlifestyle
It’s hard convincing myself to go exploring when there’s a reading spot like this in the house. #GilchristsInScotland
It’s hard convincing myself to go exploring when there’s a reading spot like this in the house. #GilchristsInScotland
This summer vacation isn’t all leisure. I’m also working on some serious reading (and hopefully some serious writing). Currently giving in to my jet lag while reading W. Anthony Eubanks’s essay, ā€œWhat Makes Me Black?ā€ In The Hedgehog Review. 
#amreading #bythefire (whut?!) #thehedgehogreview #universityofvirginia #culturalcriticism #essay #essentialreading
This summer vacation isn’t all leisure. I’m also working on some serious reading (and hopefully some serious writing). Currently giving in to my jet lag while reading W. Anthony Eubanks’s essay, ā€œWhat Makes Me Black?ā€ In The Hedgehog Review. #amreading #bythefire (whut?!) #thehedgehogreview #universityofvirginia #culturalcriticism #essay #essentialreading
Guess what? I made an attempt at writing today! I wrote a whole word! 🤨
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#amalmostwriting #sorta #heyitried #dontcallitacomeback #yet Working in the lobby at @sterminshotel four years ago. Our entire family has been itching to go back there. Maybe this summer!
#latergram #london #sterminshotel #historicplace #travel #askaboutthesecretpassage šŸ’• Jr. is growing up so darned fast. 😭😭 A couple of weeks ago I picked up @imaniperry’s ā€œLooking for Lorraine: The radiant and radical life of Lorraine Hansberryā€ after reading a @bookcritics newsletter announcing candidates for the #johnleonardprize. I’m finding this first chapter challenging to read as it brings back some feelings about my own work and life over the last few years but, as great books do (especially in the first chapter!), it’s helping put a thing or two into perspective. Or at least inspiring me to mull them over. This isn’t the worst way to spend a (very) cold November morning by the fire, that’s for sure!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#amreading #bookstagram #imaniperry #lorrainehansberry #lookingforlorraine #rainydayreading #itscoldoutside Saturday’s #ABAYLD panel was the first time I’d had the chance to speak with The Hon. Jay Richardson (he was the federal prosecutor for the Dylann Roof trial, and is now Fourth Circuit judge). It was an honor to speak as part of this group. Sending big thanks to @scbaryld for including me.
.
.
#paneldiscussion #motheremanuel #charlestonsc #respect #remember #listen #getthestorystraight #makeactionablechange #talkingisgoodifitleadstoaction #latergram 
#Repost @scbaryld with @get_repost
惻惻惻
About this weekend... our members, under the leadership of @tommyprestonjr helped put together quite the @abayounglawyersdivision Fall Conference! Saturday started with a powerful Mother Emanuel program that included discussion of how Charleston reacted and continues to grow in issues related to race. This was followed up by an epic #legalhistory walking tour designed by @patrickcwooten that led our guests on a multi-hour history with cameo appearances by Judge Hendricks and attorney Rutledge Young, Jr. A great learning experience was had by all! We so loved getting to show off our South Carolina Lawyers and residents as well as the City! #gpyld18 I made some stuff today. šŸŽ‰ My mother used to keep candles in the freezer to minimize dripping when lit for the dinner table. This also makes them last a bit longer. I’m carrying her tip over to hurricane prep today. (Sorry to those of you who are seeing this twice!) #goawayflorence #beprepared #hurricaneflorence2018 The week so far...
Monday: kitten scratched me up while I was putting her in a carrier to go to the vet. 
Tuesday: impulsively started pulling things from the garden without wearing gloves. ...and there’s still a hurricane coming this way... šŸ¤¦šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø #nomoreplease #ouch #itchy You’d never believe they got into a slapfight this morning. Arthur lost the slapfight. #arthurtheliterarydog #needahashtagforthecat What I wanted to say to @s_thornwell0: How can I use this pic to bribe my child to stop giving me a hard time about his Latin homework?

What I almost said, but didn’t because wow that would’ve been dorky: Hey, remember when you played in (and won) the Elite Eight at Madison Square Garden? I watched from the handicapped section because the night before I had a teeny bit too much wine, tripped over my purse, and dislocated my knee. I also caught the flu. Totally worth it! That was the most epic and fun sport-spectating trip ever! #omgimthedorkiestmom #sindariusthornwell #gamecockbasketball #beyonce #jayz #otrii #columbiasc #sodacity #famouslyhot Cat who has yet to be named has joined our crazy house and we love her. #bengalkitten His life is so hard. Still waking up a little unsure of where I am in the mornings and expecting this to be what I see. 
#jetlag #morninglight #latergram Leaving Scotland. 
#latergram #daddysboy #sweetbaby #scotland #farewell #travel #whenwasthis #whatdayisit #jetlag Finds from @oxfambooksbyresroad. An 1872 History of Glasgow and Alice Walker’s The Same River Twice: Honoring the Difficult.

#score #oxfambooks #antiquebooks #alicewalker #books #glasgow #scotland #gilchristsinscotland #yeswerestillhere This is the #Scotland That makes my heart go pitter-pat. Well, this and Perth. And Gleneagles. And parts of Edinburgh. And parts of Glasgow. And also a glass of aged @laphroaig. 🄃

#scotlandhighlands #benmore #instalight #happyplace Mussels, wine, a fire, and a book after an insanely fabulous day of hiking and wandering. Will be asleep soon. 😓

#mussels #wine #book #fire #vacaymode #scotland  #gilchristsinscotland When I saw that @riverheadbooks had posted this photo of my sunroom (from my @thislitlifestyle account), it made me feel a bit homesick. I tend to be a bit wimpy about vacations lasting more than a week... šŸ˜ 
#Repost @riverheadbooks with @get_repost
惻惻惻
šŸ–¤ ā€œHe’s like a perfect, windless pond, her husband once said. You throw something in just to watch it sink, and you’re going to see it on the bottom staring back at you for the rest of your life.ā€ -Lauren Groff, FLORIDA šŸ–¤ ...... gorgeous photo by @thislitlifestyle It’s hard convincing myself to go exploring when there’s a reading spot like this in the house. #GilchristsInScotland This summer vacation isn’t all leisure. I’m also working on some serious reading (and hopefully some serious writing). Currently giving in to my jet lag while reading W. Anthony Eubanks’s essay, ā€œWhat Makes Me Black?ā€ In The Hedgehog Review. 
#amreading #bythefire (whut?!) #thehedgehogreview #universityofvirginia #culturalcriticism #essay #essentialreading

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